Pain

Sometimes, there is pain that is the worst there can ever be.

My husband plays guitar, whether it be pedal steel, electric, acoustic or resonator. He plays beautifully and spends most of his waking time practicing, learning or honing his craft. There is never an instrument more than two feet away and I hardly ever see him without one in his hands.

We have a PT Cruiser and used to have a car with a handle over the passenger window that you could just hold with your hand and let your arm hang. Well, sometimes you forget and have your hand holding the top sill and don't realize that you're doing it. A couple of times he has started to close the window when I have had my hand there. It is very scary and makes you jump as you pull your hand in. You think of what could have happened and vow to be more careful.

This morning I was driving and we were heading home after having a nice breakfast out. I had left the windows open because the dog was with us. As we left the parking lot I closed the windows because it was rather cool. All of a sudden my husband started to yell. His fingers were trapped.

I opened the window right away and nothing is broken, but I feel so very bad. The pain in my heart is almost unbearable. What if I had ruined his ability to play? I think there will be a little bruising and he won't be happy with me for a little while, but I feel so incredibly terrible that I could have hurt him. That I could have taken away his talent and love. His life almost. It is one of those memories that will stay in your head and your heart forever.

My heart hurts.