Thoughts

You know how you walk into a room to get something and forget what it was? Then you have to go back where you start from and hope it will jog your memory. Well, that's been happening to me a lot lately. Funny, (weird, strange) thing is that this has been happening much more often since I had a bad reaction to an antibiotic back in September.

As always, when I get a cold it goes immediately to the chest and I have trouble breathing. So the doctor started me on an antibiotic. Apparently I had had this one before, but at this time I didn't remember.

I started taking it on a Monday and by Thursday it was still not moving out of my chest. On that day I had forgotten to have breakfast and started to notice I was hungry. Then I noticed heart palpitations. I was taking my dog to the park and when I got out of the car I felt very dizzy, So much so that my vision actually blurred around the edges. I tried walking a few feet and could hardly breathe. My heart was fluttering all over the place. Each stop I made that day I felt worse. I went home, because heaven forbid I would get it checked out. I did stop at the drug store and checked my BP which was all over the place.

So anyway, I went home and mentioned to my hubby that my heart was beating fast. It did settle down somewhat when I got home.

The next day, the same thing starts to happen. I decided to stop at work and ask if they could get someone to take my shift that afternoon. If they couldn't I could come in but I'd rather not. They thought I didn't look well at all. I talked to my girlfriend and she convinced me to get it checked out at the hospital because my colour was very bad.

I sit in the hospital for quite a while, they finally come and get me and hook me up to the EKG machine and heart monitors and take blood samples. They can tell if you've had a heart attack by doing a blood test. Turns out, I was having an allergic reaction to the medication! ! ! ! No heart attack ! ! ! !

So I have now added another thing I can't take.

Back to the memory. I really have noticed this forgetting thing. Enough so, that it really, really bothers me.

I lost my Mom to Alzheimer's Disease. I hope I NEVER, EVER get that. If I found out I did I would kill myself. That is such a horrible disease to watch and it must be that much worse to have it happening to you. I watched my Mom lose all her dignity, zest for life, possessions, family, and worst of all her 'self'.

When she died she was a shell. There was nobody left in there. It was a blessing to have her go. I know that might be mean to say, but if she had known how bad it would be and had asked me to end her suffering, I would have done it in a heartbeat.

There was one time she was to be examined by the doctor and he wanted my help to get her undressed. I refused to do it. I told him that she would never have gotten undressed in front of me and I was NOT going to put her through that. He said 'she wouldn't know' and I said 'you don't know that for sure.'


Luckily there are tests you can take that can help you maybe figure out if you are heading down that road. One thing a doctor once told me was that if you remember you forgot something, then you don't have Alzheimer's. 

 So keep remembering stuff ! ! ! !! ! ! ! ! ! !

Things that can break your heart

I wouldn't normally let anyone know this because I have this tough image of myself. But right now I feel like my heart is breaking. There is a member of my hubby's band that is leaving because he can't get his heart into the practicing anymore.

I often joked that if I didn't love my husband so much and this guy wasn't married I'd have been after him. I am sitting here right now, tears trickling down my face, wishing I had never met him. He was such a joy to watch on stage. He was probably half the show just by his enthusiasm and stage presence.

I always watch my husband play when I am there but this man drew my eye because he was having so much fun. He would get so into his music and he loved to have musical duels with my hubby. He will be sorely missed by the whole band and probably mostly by me.

There isn't enough room to put the crying face on here that I need.



:'(